The mystery of the vanishing bank manager

I have wanted to sort my Royal Bank of Scotland account out for a while. I'm only with RBS because when I first moved to the Highlands in 1985 I wanted a bank in the village and RBS was the only one who had a branch there. Of course since 1985 a lot has changed.

When I moved to The Borders, as I do most of my banking online, it seemed silly to change branches. Then the financial crisis hit and I was not at all happy with RBS, but as I have another account with The Nationwide, I felt that all the direct debits etc that I do and that have always gone through RBS could stay as it just seemed too much to move them. RBS are actually very customer friendly over the phone and web, and so do have some good points. However, just before Christmas I got a letter from them to say that they were changing the terms of accounts like mine and I'd have to pay £8 per month for the privilege. I don't bloody think so!

So yesterday, being the first day I've had some time to sort this, I looked up the phone number on Google for the RBS in Kelso and phoned. I spoke to a lovely lady called Marion and made an appointment to see her at 12 o'clock today. Off I went. Got there on time to find that not only did I not have an appointment, no-one called Marion works there. What a mystery. But anyway, the woman I spoke to said they do have a Marion in their Jedburgh branch. I did say that there was no way I'd have made an appointment to go all the way to Jedburgh, but why didn't she phone to see if I'd made a mistake. But no. I wasn't down to see Marion in Jedburgh either. Mystery deepens. I made an appointment to go into the Kelso branch next week to see a man called David anyway and apparently they'll give me some money back for not logging my appointment in the system.

When I got home there was a message from Marion. I phoned the number and this was the following conversation:

Bank Worker: Bank of Scotland Kelso, can I help you?
Me: Did you say Bank of Scotland?
BW: Yes.
Me: I thought I'd phoned Royal Bank of Scotland in Kelso.
BW: Oh did you get the number from Google?
Me: Yes.
BW (laughing): Oh dear it's wrong on Google.

Anyway, after that exchange I told her about my missed appointment with Marion and apologised. She said, 'Don't worry and of course if you decide to change to Bank of Scotland you already know the number.' Well now, I hardly think I'm likely to want to change to a bank that has the wrong telephone number displayed on Google, but she's a trier and it made me laugh.


I have to say I am mightily relieved to find out who Marion is, as I was a bit perturbed that my new found OAP status had rather gone to my head and I was losing my marbles. I'll have to come clean with David at RBS next week, though the fact that they don't have the right number on Google either does make me wonder and maybe they'll compensate me anyway. We'll see.