Less is more

Over the weekend I was trying to put together a PowerPoint presentation for one of the conference's I'm speaking at in March and today was the day we were having a Skype meeting to firm up the details. My colleague wanted the 'less is more' approach, "Just 3 slides," he said.

I don't know about you, but for me PowerPoint used to be very simple. You got a few words, a couple of graphics and you got them to tastefully appear on the screen when you wanted.

This weekend I discovered a whole new world of PowerPoint that comes in the form of 'SmartArt', essentially supposed to make the job of 'less is more' a whole lot easier. Well yes, as long as you don't want to change shapes, colours, connectors or anything else, you'll be fine.

Many, many hours later I managed to get 3, rather good, fully animated, colour co-ordinated slides that, though I say so myself, look pretty damn professional.

At today's Skype meeting my colleague said, "I just wonder if we couldn't add this other slide I have? It's fully animated and should be fine. The colours are slightly different though, so perhaps you'll play with it and get it to fit?"

Famous last words, 'should be fine',  'colours are slightly different' and 'get it to fit'. I should've known better! A bleeping few hours later and I managed to get the bleeping slide to co-ordinate with the rest of the bleeping presentation.

Less is more? Right... well it might look like that to you, but I know different.

Faecal matters

Being a woman of a 'certain age' means that I seem to get quite a lot of invitations to have tests. This January saw a bowel cancer screening test dropping through my letterbox. I had one of these a couple of years ago and declined the offer as, quite frankly, having time to sit on the loo and scrape bits of poo onto a card, was something I didn't have - this was the year I had 5 jobs and a week's holiday the whole year (don't ask).

Anyway, as I'm now semi-retired and I do have time and I also seem to have been suffering with stomach pain of some sort or another for quite a few months, I decided to go ahead with the test.

It was an interesting affair that involved some careful manoevering and I don't think I'll go into more detail just in case there's some sensitive folk out there, but, after sending it off, and yes - these things do go through the post - I forgot all about it.

I'm pleased to be able to tell you that I got confirmation today that my poo was clear and as far as the NHS are concerned I don't have any problems as far as they can tell... but of course they also say they can't be accurate and I might really have a problem, but that's the end of that as far as they're concerned for the next two years.

A relief, but also I can't say I'm looking forward to going through that particular process again.

Games night at ours

It was our turn to host games night last night. Our dear friends, Shirley and Andy, came round to eat, drink, be merry and, of course, play games.

We started well. Team Trivial Pursuit - won by us girls; QI - won (rather unbelievably) by me; and then on to Wii to use up some of the calories gained by the food and drink we managed to consume.

Bowling was our starting point, which Shirley and Andy tied for top spot, then me, and Mountain Man coming last. Then we decided on Tiger Woods PGA Golf 2011. And here is where everything went rather pear-shaped.

Apart from taking about 20 minutes to get our golf identities, Andy's controller decided to have a life of it's own. Part of me wondered whether it was because he'd chosen to be Ian Poulter, who'd had a recent spat with Johnny Miller of NBC after said Johnny Miller accused Ian Poulter of taking too long to take a putt, and this jinxed Andy's chances, but suffice it to say it took us ages to finish 9 holes (which Shirley won, followed by me, and Andy and MM coming equal last), followed by an 'interesting' half hour or so of trying to work out whose controller's belonged to whom.

All I can say was I was very relieved when my head finally hit my pillow at around 1.30 in the morning. As always with Shirley and Andy, it was a fun night, in spite of the trauma of 'controller-gate'.

Oh yes, and if you're looking for a very nice bottle of red wine, I can highly recommend Finca Los Principes El Rihuelo Rioja 2011, two bottles of which were in a box of wine my mother gave me for Christmas and which I was saving for the right moment. Not one drop was left by the time the night was over. Yum. Happily have that one again.

Shopping not dropping

Yesterday, after the 'shower incident' at Lizzie's and prior to the meeting I was due to chair in Inverness in the afternoon, I decided, instead of work that should be done, I'd take a look around my old stamping ground instead.

I have my mother's 90th birthday party coming up in four weeks and have been thinking about possibly buying something new. At breakfast Lizzie also just happened to drop into the conversation that on a Tuesday morning in Inverness, it would be unlikely that the Personal Shopper in Debenham's would be busy, and I'm afraid that peeked my interest. I've never done anything like that before.

Well... what a revelation! Liz, the Experienced Personal Debenham's Shopper (that's what it said on her name tag), was wonderful! She and I wandered about picking up garments that we thought might do and off I trotted to the dressing up area to try them all on, while she scouted about for even more.

Interestingly, all the things she chose were ones I'd never have picked for myself usually and yet those were the ones that definitely were the better options. She even went off to scout for a pair of ankle boots to try on (not to buy) so I could see what the dresses might look like without the pink sock effect. I ended up buying a purple, very grown-up, fitted dress for the grand price of £22.50. I did also buy a black jacket that I took a fancy to, which was a trifle more expensive, but what a great way to shop.

My bargain dress

What with the 'shower incident' in the morning and then the afternoon meeting, I really appreciated those couple of stress-free hours in the day. And £22.50... what can I say?

Oh dear!

I'm sure you know the scenario: there you are staying at a friend's house and everyone else has left to go to work and you are there, by yourself, thinking of a leisurely morning while others are slaving over a hot something. So far so good.

You decide to have a shower, but somehow the shower isn't anything like the one's you're used to. You try to use your brain and think, 'it can't be that hard. The others have had a shower this morning and they managed no problem.' And so you turn taps... the first mistake... then you try to turn them off, but they seem to be stuck. You stand back and realise the second mistake... the shower head has been aimed at somewhere beyond the bath and the floor is beginning to soak. You then make the third mistake and panic.

You don't know this scenario? Oh well, that was the start for me this morning. And it wasn't a great one, no not at all!

The culmination was a phone call to the lovely Lizzie, who'd so kindly offered her hospitality to three of us who all used to work together, for dinner, fizz and a good old gossip about the old days and the new days. It was fun. I'm not sure that Lizzie was feeling quite so kindly after my panic phone call and, just as she'd promised she'd be over as quick as quick, the bloody taps freed up and danger was averted. I sheepishly rang her back to cancel the emergency and reassure her.

So, instead of spending my morning getting on with some work, prior to my meeting in Inverness this  afternoon, I've been using my time making sure all is back to normal and Lizzie can come home to her house looking the way she left it.

I know she said as she left, 'We must do this again and soon,' but I have a feeling by the end of the day, and after reading this, she might well have a rethink.

Does it count?

After our meal last night, courtesy of Marks & Spencer's night in for two for £10 - which included a main course, a side dish, a pud (for Mountain Man) and a bottle of wine (for me... no not all of it, just to state my case here) - I woke up this morning, which was supposed to be an activity day on my get fit programme, with a raging headache.

Mountain Man was on mountain man duties and had to go up to Arthur's Seat in Edinburgh to help the Lothian and Borders Police Force look for the body of a man, who it's suspected may have committed suicide. This is the rather unpleasant side of being a Search and Rescue person, but MM, as do all the other Search and Rescue people, does this uncomplainingly. This meant an early start for him.

I, meanwhile, stayed in bed with the telly on to watch Andy Murray sadly lose the Australian Open to Novak Djokovic.

Andy Murray had his chances, after taking the first set, to win the second, but didn't/couldn't take them. At one stage they showed the medic come on to dress the blisters on Andy Murray's feet and I was amazed he could walk, let alone run around. So much admiration for him on that score. But what it made me do was get up and get myself sorted. I mean I just had a headache... he had really, really huge blisters that were red and raw.

And so my day was spent cleaning. Vacuuming and washing floors, scrubbing basins and shelves. I didn't do the exercise that I was planning but I'm hoping all this house cleaning will count. It does doesn't it?

Grateful

Today I had a meeting in Ayr. It also happened to coincide with an amber weather warning of snow that was coming in from the West supposedly to hit the Scottish Borders around 11 o'clock. Last night I found myself getting anxious about getting stuck and not being able to get home, so phoned one of those who I was meeting with and we agreed that we'd do a telephone meeting instead.

It also happened that Andy Murray got through to the semi-finals of the Australian Open against Roger Federer and the BBC were screening this at 8.30 this morning.

Actually the weather forecasters were wrong. It started snowing at around 7.30 this morning and I was highly relieved I didn't even have to begin the 2.5 hour drive to the West coast, and also that the telephone meeting was to start at 10.45, which gave me an excuse to sit and watch the tennis.

After a great start, Andy Murray lost the second set, which was just when the phone went and I had to scoot off to my office for my phone call. The phone meeting took over an hour and I came back to the TV when Andy Murray was 5-4 up in the 4th set and serving for the match. He lost his serve and Federer went on to win the tie-break. Then Andy Murray upped it and Roger Federer had a dip and it was all over. Whoohoo, Andy Murray in the final!

And just to think at the point Andy Murray won, if I'd have gone to Ayr and actually got there, I would just be getting back into my car and heading back towards the M8, where, according to Traffic Scotland, I would be heading into a large snowfall ready to get stuck - armed, of course, with my travel snow shovel, my blanket, welly boots and other winter accoutrements I permanently travel with these days.

So, all in all, I feel extremely grateful 1) I was stuck at home; 2) there was tennis on the TV; and 3) I'm semi-retired and don't have anywhere particular to be this afternoon. Very grateful indeed.