Thursday, 20 August 2015

A shocking discovery

I'm usually pretty upbeat on this blog, but today I got an absolute shock, a real slap in the face.

I had a lovely time in France, although I seemed to have taken the Scottish grey skies with me for the most of my week away. We did have a lovely couple of days of sun and I even managed to spend an afternoon on the swing seat in Sara and Krzysztof's garden reading, but then got stung by something (I think it was a wasp) which kind of put a dampener on things a touch. Luckily I'd brought some really good stuff from the homeopathic chemist in London, which did the trick of taking the pain away pretty promptly.

Sara and K have the most gorgeous pair of dogs. Both are Great Danes and I spent quite a lot of time being sat on by one or another. Clarence is 11 months old (in fact his birthday is on 30th August, which is exactly the same as Vespa) and absolutely huge. Myrtle is just 4 months old, but she's not exactly a small dog either. Still it was great fun and they're so lovely. Clarence is a bit mouthy and liked to take my arm in his mouth, which is a very scary experience! Luckily he didn't completely close his mouth, cos his teeth are pretty damn big!

Clarence sitting on my knee!

Myrtle trying to be a lap dog!

I got back from France on Tuesday afternoon to a great welcome from Vespa, but Mountain Man was a bit distant. Deep down I knew all wasn't well, but couldn't quite put my finger on it. Just something. And I'm pretty good on the intuitive front. We had had an argument just before I left, but I thought we'd dealt with that and that he was going to be trying a little harder on the relationship front.

Yesterday we went to puppy class in Aberlady, which is about an hour away from us, but it was the only time the Puppy Supervisor had to show us how to use the spray collar to stop Vespa eating things he shouldn't when out on a walk. He was incredibly well behaved and I was so pleased with him. For those of you who've read all about Odi at this particular class, she always behaved like a complete hooligan and I used to hate going, so it was really lovely to have Vespa do so well.

By the time we got home I was exhausted. I think the travelling - which started at 5 am on Monday morning and ended by 4 pm on Tuesday - had finally got to me and I took myself off to bed for an early night.

This morning I was getting ready to go out to have lunch with No. 1 Son and then see a client, when MM asked if we could talk. He then told me he wanted to move out. I have to say I was pretty shocked. He also wanted to stay until he found somewhere else, something which I'm afraid I just couldn't deal with. He then told me he didn't love me. Even more reason for him to move out straight away.

I was going to go to work, but then I realised I just couldn't possibly deal with a client and have my feelings all over the place too, so I cancelled everything and took Vespa for a walk instead. MM wanted to talk about him leaving when it was more conducive for him, but hey... someone tells you they don't love you and want to move... what's there really to talk about? He assured me he'd only been thinking about this since I'd been in France. But you know what? There was something else. My intuition told me there was.

MM packed some things and then left and, for better or worse, I decided to check on his desk top computer, just to see if there was anything that might give me a clue as to why I felt the way I did.

And there it was...

He'd been online and looking for other places to live for a little while and also been on several online dating sites (15 at the last count and some rather less savoury than others) since early April and had even met up with someone in person and, let's put it politely, had taken the relationship to a different level. To say I was hurt was an understatement.

I phoned him to tell him I knew all and he agreed he'd lied. So today hasn't been the easiest. One moment I'm reasonably ok and now I'm on my own with a house and a dog to look after. Oh well... I know I'll manage, but feel a little stunned right now to say the least, so if I don't appear on this blog and am my usual cheery self, you'll know why.

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